...and I lament;
NOBODY LOVES ME
IS IT MY FAULT OR GODS ?
NOBODY LIKES ME
OR CARES ABOUT ME
AND THE UNIVERSE JUST LAYS THERE
AND SAYS;
THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE ....
"AND AS IT SHOULD
BE ,..."
And Well ,.. My friend ,..
"and you must see
and accept
this existence
of nonsense
somewhere,..Believe me
it makes perfect sense"
"Pretense"
Cliche
and all the writer
geniuses
are gay
or weird
or dead
in the head
numb
and
scariest of all
Apparently
God wants them
that
way,..
and oh ,... the ,... "Routine"
and only the good,..
shall be pristine ,....
and perhaps,..
remain,..
THE ELECT !! The Chosen Few !!
THE ERECT !!
WE'RE ALL ,...
wrecked,..
In Folly We ???
and well ,..
MY FRIEND
YOU ARE THE EARTHLY DAMNED
NO GOOD SHALL COME
TO YOU
FIVE FOOT SIX
AND EVIL STARES
IS BASICALLY
WHAT YOU''ll GET
hate shall be your food
Sure,..occasionally maybe a big fat check
or a shock unexpected hug
Good luck
my friend
The end
is really the barrel
you are staring down
everyday
So rejoice at Taco Bell
or Subway
or jerking off
'cause that's your best you got;
AND YOU'RE GONNA GET !
Your
big
day !
Ultimate moment !!
,... and everyday
But remember Christ !
and Hith sufferings ,...
His Passion
they threw swords at Him
and a crown of thorns
upon
His Head !
that dream of torture you fear was Hith reality ,..
He suffered , died, and was buried,..
And they'll do it to YOU TOO !!
EVENTUALLY
So be wary ,..
Only
You may not rise
as He,...
,..maybe ,..
So
you ain't got it
all that bad,...
for now,..
just pray,...
I guess,..
or do you ?
Well ,..
Maybe you do
Yes,..
He ,..keeps us off balance
keeps us all guessing
He throws us weird "Proofs"
and grande designs
Complex Arithmetic
and chemical mixes
Yes,.he's really got us in a fix here,.. and,..
it seems
all
designed
to trick us
or at least
trick the wicked
and drive them nuts
And so they hurt us all
more,..
We're whores
And we're bores....
Most can barely think
an original thought
And original sin
Down here
Where we can barely fake fun...
and we run
and,..
threw the pouring rain
as the bullets fly by
and our feet cry out in pain
and
Yes,..
God's Love ;
"Agape"
and each day
and again and again,.
they whip us ,..
the good are on the run
and Satan Runs this game;
Down here
Downtown
and EVERYWHERE !
Its check mate
Checkers
Family wreckers
Cheaters and stealers
And court room liars
will say anything
To
GET
Rid
Of
YOU
AND Rubber stamped
Sign and Sealed
By some
Random
BRibed....
Lies...
Are AMONG those things ;
Attempts
to
Undue
.... YOU
Yes ,..on the cold ball of blue and green ,..YES,.. the cabal ,... the Loony Bin ,..
The insane LIFE sentence !
the Aquarium
THAT IS ,...
The Third Rock !!
HERE !
"And upon This rock
You shall build
My Church !!"
AND THEY may hang you with your own twine you made and sold
fortune favors the bold !
or nail you
to fine wood of Birch ,..
all alone ye shall lurch ,..
And only through Me, shall Ye ,..be saved ,..
you will be
the depraved
but beware;
666
He's messing with us,.. !
but its all in good fun
I guess,..
or perhaps not ,..
This is serious business ;
Existence and Salvation
and the confusion of
Masturbation
Then the prayer .....
and human relations,..etc,..
its complications
trans-fixations
Desperation....
but fear not, for you may not remember
ANY OF THIS,. when you trolley
to that other side,..
And
I am one of the only seer's
from the other side
No pride
Rare Sanctuary ....
or more scary; Perhaps the only one
much like the "One' from the Matrix
and
I cannot hide
,..forever !! I must preach out
and maybe even
reach out
and touch
faith
My flock is chosen and they may hear me
and it could also be
why so many
fear me ,..
Yes,.. !!
I have come
to work ,..with the Four
and me !
The Father, the Son, The Holy Ghost, Satan, ..AND ALL OF THEE !!
YES,.. this world that I built !
Electronically
Digitally
And far beyond ....
I am now the controller'
I have assumed even more than control...
ALL PLANETS OF THE SOLAR FEDERATION !! AND BEYOND !
And they all just yawn...
But
I am no fawn
On your lawn...
I AM CAPTAIN BEYOND ,..floating through space on a crystal ,.. The DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE with my sword,.. and my shield ,.....
And my pistol ...
And
You're just ALL merely just IN MY DREAM; HERE !
THAT I WROTE !
Or did He..?
YES,.. ALL THE DNA, ETC etc
And Plans,.. Gigantic and small ,..
I did it !
ALL !
PAUL !!
Oh and by the way,..
Has anyone seen Kurt lately ?
I heard he died in some Greenhouse ,..
And alone ...
and after he stole all
his best ideas
from me ,..
You see ..
And I wrote Star Wars too
and I put the first man
on the moon
And I shot JFK ,.... And I know what really happened
with flight 800
TWA
yes,..I planned it that way
but don't get mad at me
you gotta forgive me here,..
for I was insane
that day ,..
off my meds again
that only the Angels can prescribe
and from up there
in that Gorgeous impossible Land
So
Far Far
away ! 777
From where I came ,....
Far better...
Than any of you...
Only the chosen few ...
Get approved
By me
but here in the battle zone, I end up just plain like the rest
nobody notices me
as I battle this test,..
And i Remain
The defender...
Of the
West !!!
Yes...
there were a few laughing as I reached up from the ground
my nose bloodied
My brain humiliated..
And my hands
Abound ...
I sought help all around,..
but today, I am more evolved
now ,..I need them less or not
And,..
But,..
AND THEY ARE DRIVING ME MAD
AND PUSHING ME
TO THAT POINT
WHERE
I MUST SIN !!
"I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY
and free but,.. This Mad Universe and "Everything" won't let me !!"
And neither
She...
MY GOD ! MY GOD
I PRAY !!!
And he JUST makes me itch in bed til i bleed
BEST I CAN GET
FOR TONIGHT
I guess,...
And he's always in my head
annoying me
I pray to God to make him go away
but he persists
as he keeps my agony
in place,...
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME !
WHY MUST IT BE THIS WAY ! ??
and he seems to work hand in hand
with the Good God
"THE TWO"
And perhaps for
my sake ,..
YES THE DARK ONE
IS PUT TO USE
A MUSE !
As if some
neurotic Slugworth
in some massive scheme ,..
and His huge Plans,..
for some better world
An incredible dynamic awesome place,..
afar
yes far far away ,...
THAT INCREDIBLE AMAZING LAND !!
IMPOSSIBLE WHILE ALIVE,.So Spectacular and colorful
vibrant and forever !
its gonna be so damn great there
I can't wait !!!
Untouchable !
yet so close,..
But,.
Dinosaurs, UFO's, and billions and billions of YEARS,..
keep getting in the way ,..
MATHEMATICS
,..
TO CONFUSE,..
AND BEMUSE,..
THEY KEEP ROLLING THEM OUT
LIKE A FACTORY
AND YOU POUT !
Your brain
gets a work out
I sat on my office floor ,..ripping apart a clock trying to put it back together ,..or searching for some postage stamps or going through endless receipts and invoices ,..looking for the truth,..that piece of mind, we cannot find,..hours and hours of wasted sweaty hell ,..the room begins to smell ,.. yet there I sat,..in the middle of the rug, papers all around,..they littered my ground but what I didn't realize was how lucky I was,..just
to have a home
at all,..
TIME ! to go outside,..for some fresh air !
Contradicting words
and Science !
and Lions and Tigers and Bears
Oh my !!
and why ask why >??
THEY AMUSE !!
but its all a rouse ,...
a charade ,...
God keeps bowling
and we are the pins
and the Devil is right there too
having fun
at our eternal expense,..
You get so dizzy
you can barely choose
in the end
my friend,..
YES; YOU LOSE SIR
GOOD DAY SIR !
You Lose !!
because,...
YOU BROKE
THE RULES,...
and
you didn't read the fine print
but you signed it
like a fool !
And you don't remember me do you ?
I taught you all
the rules
I gave you all the jewels
of Heaven
and Earth
and it was such hard work for me
getting you to listen at last
and we've put you threw this
many times
and I thought finally at last
it was me
THAT GOT THROUGH
TO YOU !
But I guess now not ,....And I told God: "No matter what ,...when you pit me in there,...I want to be the best of all time and whether they love me or not 'and He said; "Are you really sure you want that ??"
for that might come with a big responsibility ,.."
and,.
All of them ?
They don't know what its like
,..to be you
ALL OF THE OTHERS ??
and even the Priests,..
THEY JUST TURN OUT
TO NOT
BE YOUR BROTHERS,..
OR SISTERS TOO,..
they haven't clue
but perhaps
they do
too ,..
And look to your left and right over there !
the demons and ghouls
they glare
at thee !
Yes,..they plan ,..and they craft
your demise
and
with a little help
from
their friends,..
AND ALL
Yes !!
IF YOU MESS WITH US !!
You are messing
with THE BEST !!
WE ARE THE GANG
AND WE ARE INSANE
DON'T PUSH OUR BUTTONS BUDDY
YOU BETTER NOT !!
And don't come around ,...
to try to be our friend
PAL !
YOU ARE The INANE
AND INSIPID
DERANGED
INSANE
Lame
No Brain
OBTUSE !!!
AND WE ARE THE GANG !!
WE ARE BETTER THAN LITTLE YOU !!
YES,..we are;
SATAN'S LITTLE HELPERS
AND
WE HATE YOU !
AND EVERYBODY SHOULD
ITS HOW GOD MADE YOU
"evolution"
WE FORSAKE YOU
GONNA RAPE YOU
LETS FORGET YOU
BETTER STILL
YES
FEW PEOPLE LOVE ME
BUT IT FEELS LIKE NOBODY
AND ALWAYS HAS
SINCE 1965
4-27
"Roll with it"
And that's what I do
Year after year
taking the abuse
But my Guardian Angel is still my Muse,..
But my superiority is still my Truth !
But God says
The more misery I take
The higher in Heaven I shall Go
And just like a Mighty Mormon
The Latter Day Saints !
out there
in the fields
or prairie
that tranquil gifted Land !
"Springtime ,..for Hitler !!"
SANCTUARY !
The Three Levels
of "Better"
The Top Guru makes the Call !
The Motivational Speaker expert way up there in the Blue ! Four Crystal ships fly
in the day; we see them ,..NOT THE NIGHT !!
THE KNIGHT !!!
AND CHRIST SHALL BE THERE
THE THREE SEATED
AND STAMPING THE PAPERS
AND SENDING the those ,..PAST PETER IN
ONLY THE MOST LOVELY
AND KARDASHIAN LIKE
SHALL ;
GET IN !!
YES,.."PRINCESSES" From Armenia or Arabia ,..
WHO received the deserved gifts bestowed !!
AND YES,...
Tall and 6 foot three
Good looking and confident
I shall be
One day
In the land of the Free !!
Heaven is for thee
not the little flea
or ant
like me NOW,..
I SHALL BE IMPROVED
AND CLEANSED
THROWN INTO PURGATORY
RENEWED !
A BETTER MAN !!
AND WITHOUT
SIN,..
"Carousel" !!
RENEW !!
Sins PURGED !!!
AND THAT'S WHEN I HEARD HIM from above,.. CRY!;
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO DIE !"
And Mother;
Do you think they'll drop the bomb ?
AND FATHER;
IS TODAY THE DAY
YOU MIGHT DEFEND ME
FROM
THE MOB ?? outside ?
and The One in here too ?
And Me ?
Do you think its ok
to go
outside
today ??
AND ,..
DO You think its alright ??
To
Leave the boy
,..with Uncle Ernie ??
For after all, He's had
a few too many ,..
AND THEY COME TO ME IN ELECTRONICS and they shout ; "Oh please oh wise Greatest One ; Tell us really what its all about !!"
And I merely tell them, We are all some kind of celebrities Super-Gods ,.. and locked in this black box carried by some helicopter to the next big sale and or buy ,..and only this Guru really knows ,..and well ,.. I know nothing ,..
And,..
well,..
Strike three; You're Out !! or something like that,..
yes,..my friends;
make the best of it
make the best of it
pick up the crumbs
they toss my way
AND PICK UP THY CROSS
FOR THIS EARTH
IS MERELY HELL
TO PAY !!
And Christ
will one day
redeem thee !
CLEANSED !!
MAKE AMENDS !!
VENGEANCE IS MINE !
but for now
I am raped and beaten
and made fun of
put down
Mocked ,..
AND I SHALL CARRY THIS PAIN FOREVER
AND EVEN INTO HEAVEN ETERNAL,.
AND I AM ONLY JUST ANOTHER VESSEL
a little clown
they all hate
but I just smile
and laugh
and write about it
I CAN ALWAYS GET AWAY ,..
I know I am the real genius
so much better and smarter
than
all of them
I lay waste
of thee
or do I ?
Are they really
doing that
to me ?
WHO CARES?
WHAT THINGS WE CHOOSE
Little to gain and OR nothing to Lose,..
And God wants me to shut up
and pray
and I do
but not always
sometimes
I must lament
and just like Paul
in Scripture
One day I shall repent
One Day I shall be Free And Perhaps, I will Love all of thee;
"Do unto others as yeah blah blah"
Yeah they really Love me,..they really love Me,..they really do ,..I just wanna be the guy with the most Cake and,..
FOR
MY EYES CAN SEE IT
THE GLORY OF THE LORD !
THAT BEAUTIFUL PLACE AFAR
THE WHITE PICKET FENCE !
AND WHERE ELECTRIC CARS
DON'T POLLUTE
WHERE THE ANGELS ROAM
AND WHERE THE DEVILS PERISH !!
YES !
FAR FAR AWAY
WHERE THE CUP IS WON
AND RAISED HIGH
WHERE HARD WORK PAYS OFF
AND THE PEOPLE ARE ALL WHITE
THE BROWN ONES ARE BURNED AND SCORNED AND AS WE TRIED TO DO SO HARD ON EARTH !
AND WE DID IT ALL FOR GOD
and we did it all
for Christ !!
Yes,..a magical place
an enchanted Kingdom;
"No,..this is not FOR YOU"
LITTLE GUY
FOR 'THIS' IS THE LAND FOR LIFE LOTTERY WINNERS !
THE BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS
WONDERFUL
REDEEMABLE
,....FEW !
Off in the sky
somewhere over the Rainbow
but I don't care
I will continue to try
to get there
too
and be with the rest
for I am THE BEST !
AND I AM THE WEST !
yes for you and I
the few, the brave, the Proud,..
the chosen
and we will not
ask why ,...
MAYBE ONLY 144,000
Yes,.maybe a Rapture or two ,..
and that's why I was at your door young lady and long ago,..
to tell you;
I LOVE YOU ,...
'was all I ever meant to say and was sayin' duh ,..ANYWAY ,.. BABY !
Yes
Everyone can see
I am on display
they all make fun of me
and they have fun doing it
God wants them to stick the needle and the knife in too
and turn it,..
yes JUST BURN IT
THIS EARTH
ITS MEANINGLESS !
FOR THE NEXT LIFE
IS THE ONE
WE ARE WORKING FOR
YES,..
AND NO WAR SHALL
BREAK OUT IN HEAVEN THEN I SWEAR
FOR
God wants them !
to keep on torturing
me HERE,..
AND WHO CAN BLAME HIM !?
AND TURN UP THE HEAT
MORE AND MORE
EVERY
AND EACH
DAY ,..
its the way of the Universe
its the way
it should be
and everything
must
be this way !
deeper and deeper
EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT ,..IN THE END,..
AND ALL PAIN WILL END,..
AND ALL SHALL
FADE AWAY
YES,..ALL THINGS MUST PASS
AND YES,..even the Beatles too,..
one day I may explode
but I am one of the smart
so probably not
instead
I will write
in irony
and where ever John is ,.I can only hope
he enjoys thee,..
AND ENJOY THE MISERY
THE PAIN
its really
all I got ,..
ART,...
get all my thoughts out
on paper
then
at night
I shall rape her
fantasy
sorry
its the best I can do
with,...
what God gave me
Here on Earth
The Walk of insanity
A Blue Aquarium
that floats in space
no meaning
AND ALL SHALL BE DESTROYED
MAYBE BY OURSELVES OR MAYBE NOT
and some stupid story
about torture and death on Some Cross
controlling
it all,..
When all could have just been made Heaven
No hell below us
above us
only sky
BUT WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND AND FAITH IS A MYSTERY ,.. and all of history
has me screaming;
"Why God why !!?
Why is this like the playoffs ?
A terse test !
to win the cup
when simple love
should be enough,..?"
Yes,..
He gave many of you a great life and height
and a brain
for nice clothes ,..
but not me
So I am what I am
I come up to you with a gentle laugh, a kind smile
and you all are programmed to just push me away
to where I stay
locked in
some room
avoiding thee
and who
can blame
me ??
and really
in the end
it's better
this way
You already know
I don't like any of you either
anyway ,..
NOBODY LOVES ME
OR LIKES ME
YES I DID THIS TO MYSELF
I brought this all upon myself
its all my fault
and I am not all apologies
THEY ALL HATE ME
AND EVEN GOD IS LIKE;
"AND WELL THEY ALL SHOULD"
NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME
AND I AM SUPPOSED TO ROLL WITH IT
ROLL WITH ALL THE PUNCHES
AND GET TO WORK STILL
AND I AM JUST MUCH LIKE ALL OF YOU OUT THERE
yes
I got bad news ,....
ALL IS FAKE
THEY ONLY LOVE YOU
IF YOUR BEAUTIFUL
AND YOU GOT MONEY
IN THE BANK,..
now sleep tight
sweetie
don't let the bed bugs bite,..
and never mind that sound you heard
in the dark
or the man,..
behind
the curtain ,....
"A Work
,..... In progress"